It's 2018. The web platform offers dozens of powerful, native-like APIs. What if we used this newfound power for evil? What kind of terrible UX could we create if our goal was to build the worst web page in the world?

This talk will be an adventure deep into little-known parts of the web platform. We'll explore archaic Netscape Navigator APIs and powerful standards-based APIs and use them to build a website with powers you'd never believe possible on the Web today.